Dealing with a breakup

Hey guys,

Okay so as you all know, any of you that have been reading my last few posts, my boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago.

So, as you can guess, the last week have been pretty hard for me.

I decided though, that I want to try and use my pain to attempt to help other people in a situation similar to mine. So I've got below a list of all of the things that have been making me feel better for the last week to try and help me get over and deal with my breakup.

Now I know that everyone deals with things differently and I'm not for a second saying that the things on this list will work for everyone, but they worked for me and maybe they'll give you guys some ideas of how you can help yourselves.


1. Surrounding yourself with people who love you
This is by far the most important thing on this list and the one that helped me the most.
I immediately afterwards reached out to both my Mum and my best friend and I couldn't have dealt with this without them. They did so much to go out of their way to make sure that I was okay that even though, nothing would really make me feel okay, their love and support was so comforting to me and gave me the confidence that I needed to make sure that I fought through how I was feeling.

I also a few days later reached out to a bunch more friends over social media by posting a photo on instagram that said that I was dealing with heart break.
I was honestly amazed and overwhelmed by all of the people that reached out to me to make sure I was okay and offered what they could to help.

2. Do something different
For me, it was starting to watch Star Wars (which I had never seen before).
But I found it super distracting to just do something that I know I had never shared with my boyfriend. As most of the things that I did in my life that made me happy, I'd always share with him in even just as simple a way as talking to him about it.
Watching Star Wars for me brought up no old memories or the feeling as though I should be talking to him, which was a really nice distraction when I was feeling overwhelmed.

3. Connect with and be fully aware of your emotions.
Okay so it's okay to be sad and upset and angry and literally every emotion in the world and none all at once when you've had your heart broken.
It's not you losing touch with reality or getting into a dark place emotionally. It's okay and it's totally normal.
It's super important, I think, to remember that.

Something that really helped me though was to change the way I thought about my emotions.
One of my close friends said to me that I should start thinking about my emotions in terms of the movie 'Inside Out' (a disney pixar movie which I'll put a link to the trailer in the links section).
This really helped me as I could have a good grasp and a good mental image of all of my emotions behind the desk and what each one was doing when I felt each thing.
It also made me really comforted to think about it in the way that at the end of the day, my happiness is still in there, it's just being fought right now by the sadness.

4. Keep Busy
This is something that's really helped me.
I work at a cinema and so with the release of Star Wars last week, work has been keeping me pretty busy.
This has been an absolute blessing, being surrounded by my work family, who are just so amazing, and just doing something that keeps my mind off the breakup has been amazing.
I have been reconnecting with a lot of friends as well in my spare time and have started rewatching Dexter, also best show in the whole world for anyone that doesn't know.

This is very important as for me, those moments when I'm at work and smiling or laughing with mates or even customers, makes me know that at the end of the day, I do have a life outside of my rship and that I can move on and be happy without it.
This is by far one of the most important discoveries that anyone with fresh heartbreak can make!

5. Make a list of all of the things that was wrong in your rship

Okay so I have a mantra that I've been using the last few days to help me deal with this.
I sat down and I wrote down everything that I could remember that made me upset in this rship, I'm not going to tell you guys what they were, because privacy and it's really not fair on my ex. But I will say some examples that I can think of:

- Not feeling loved
- Fighting all of the time
- Not feeling safe
- Communication issues
- Lack of trust
- Not having much in common

These were not all things that I felt, but just some examples of what I mean when I talk about this.
Now, whenever I start to miss him, or I start to get upset about our rship ending, I just think that one day I'm going to find a person who will make me feel all of these things.
One day I'm going to be swept off my feet.
One day I will meet my soul mate and everything will be okay.

So yeah,
Please guys let me know how you found this post, if you found it helpful or if you think there is anything that I missed on here.
If any of you are going through a breakup and want someone to talk to, I've put my email address down below as well as my twitter and tumblr so feel free to message me, I'd be more than happy to have a chat and help out anyone and everyone xxxxx

Love you all,
T xxx




Anonymous said…
Huh. Very interesting read. Going through high school with you I never thought I would be able to relate or agree with you about something like this. I've gone through a slightly more twisted relationship over the past 12 months that I was very unhappy with myself in and was always second guessing myself with that person. Would have loved to have had this when we finally parted. But pull learn that things like these turn into the best worst life lessons of all time. Yes you'll be feeling like you don't know what to do with yourself and what's the point in relationships and possibly be hurting then you ever have before, but you'll eventually see that through ending this relationship you've learnt so much about yourself and what you really want in a life partner
Taylor Bekkers said…
I'm so sorry to hear that you had to deal with that, I know how hard that can be as I have also been through a relationship in the past that sounds a bit similar to that!

Thank you so much for saying that, it means a lot to me. And as much as I wish you had seen something like this when you guys did part, hopefully this post can help heaps of other people through a similar thing!

Thanks so much for reading xxx

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