How fake is too fake?

Hey everyone,

So this post might be a bit of an intense one, so to lighten everyone's moods a little bit before and after reading it, here's a photo of the ADORABLE, like I mean freaking cutest thing I've ever seen, stuffed lion that my S.O. bought me at the Zoo today :)
(For more zoo photos of the animals that I fell in love with, check out my instagram, link is at the bottom of this post x)

Okay so I started thinking tonight, as I was having a conversation with my boyfriend and his sister, about how fake people can be when they are having a conversation with someone that they don't 100% click with.
This could be anyone between a coworker, a person at a party that you just met or even someone that you're forced into interacting with, like a friend or partners' siblings or parents, or a BIG ONE for me, a partners' friends.

I find this very strongly in myself, whenever I'm having a conversation with someone that I'm not really sure how to act around yet or that I just generally don't have much in common with. I pretend to be overly interested in things that don't really interest me or that I don't really understand just to get along with the person, maybe sound a bit more interesting and (I think a big one for me is) increasing the chances of them liking me.

So a bit of background into myself, which I think may be helpful when talking about how I deal with things like that is that I have pretty intensive social anxiety... Well, to be honest, I have pretty intensive EVERYTHING anxiety, but in this case, the social one is really all that's relevant.
So, because of this social anxiety (for those who may not have experienced it), I spend a lot of my time and energy caring about what the people around me think of me and how I come across.
I pretty much overanalyse everything. And I mean everything.
Think about it this way,  for every teenage girl that has ever had a crush on (who I'm sure you thought at the time was) the most perfect boy in the world. Every time he'd look at you in class, every small conversation that the two of you might have in the school halls at lunch time or in between classes, every text or facebook message that he sent you, the way that you thought about that, every possible thing that it could mean, and reread them over and over and over. Remember that?
Yeah..... That's how I feel about pretty much everyone.
Luckily (and strangely to most of you girls in that stage right now) everyone except my boyfriend.

So, back to what I was saying.
I was sitting in my boyfriend's room, talking to his sister about a formal she went to the other night, and over exaggerating my interest in the brand of every girl's dress there, who looked good and who didn't and other goings on of the night, I started thinking.. Just how much do I do this in day to day life. AND, how much do other people that I talk to every week do this when they're talking to me...

I know that there is a little bit of this in everyone, and everyone's slightly different personality-wise depending on who they are talking to or with at any particular moment. I mean, I don't make inappropriate jokes in front of my parents (and I hope none of you do either), I don't talk about my feelings 24/7 with the new trainees that my work just hired. Everyone has little differences like that.
But how much do you have to do of this for you to be classified as a 'fake person?'. I mean, I feel anxious and act differently and do this around pretty much everyone, my mum, my best friends, my coworkers.

So which version of me is the 'real me?'. Is it the version when I'm with my boyfriend where I'm relaxed 24/7 (or as relaxed as someone with a severe anxiety disorder can be), or is it the version when I'm at work talking to new people that I don't know, or is it when I'm with my best friend and I'm bitching about every single person that has ever been born?

I wanna hear from you guys! 
Let me know in the comments about your different versions of yourself or if anyone else feels this way? I'd love to hear what you guys think on the subject!!!!!

xxxxx T

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